Goodbye Weekend Plans

So I had plans for this weekend, mostly work plans, but plans. Basically Saturday morning survived and Saturday night, which was indoors, the rest of the weekend was thrown away. Such is the life of flooding and constant rain.

Instead I spent all day Sunday, half of which was supposed to be shooting a magazine cover on the Chicago River (ahh...the irony), standing in the Des Plaines River watching people sandbag and surveying damage. I don't if I've ever treasured dry socks as much as when I got home. 6 hours of wading through a river is really plenty. But I do have to say in the world of problems, at least I have a dry home to go home to, and for that, I am thankful tonight.

Because I Can, XXXVII

This is one of my favorite little hideouts in the city, the Thorn Garden on the south side of the Art Institute.

Because I Can, XXXVI

Because I Can, XXXV

Because I Can, XXXIV

Because I Can, XXXIII

Dancing in the Park

The city had going on today, and again on Wednesday, some dancing in Millennium Park. I didn't get to stick around as long as I would've liked, but hey, whatever. Got an okay image or two, and I always love good break dancing.

If you want to see it it will be happening again on Wednesday from 4-6pm, starts at Crown Fountain (the spitting fountains on Michigan Ave.) and works around the park from there.

Because I Can, XXXII

Because I Can, XXXI

Because I Can, XXX

Wilderness in the City

As much as I'm a city boy, and I am a city boy, damn, I just want to go hide in the woods most days. It always amazes how much of an option that really is in this city though.

Over the last umpteen years I've gotten to know a lot of little wilderness, or wilderness-y hideouts in the Chicago-land area. From the likes of some of the Forest preserves, to Northerly Island, and little odd spots here and there this city has some often surprising little hideaways.

Now, I'm not calling any of these a real replacement for the real Great Outdoors, but they are an escape from the city, a brief respite. I look for a lot of these places.

This is why I have to say I was a bit suprised to find a bird sanctuary right by downtown that I didn't know about. This is by an area that I have biked past about 5 times so far this summer, and probably over 50 times in my life. It's just south of McCormick Place and is called, shockingly enough, the McCormick Place Bird and Butterfly Sanctuary.

It's actually a green roof for a parking garage, though you'd never know that unless you were told or were looking for the scattered air vents and emergency exits. From the surrounding areas it doesn't look like much, just a grassy slope. Because it's a plains/grassland environment this is enough to obscure it from sight. It's not till you get into it that you lose most of the city, and get lost in high grasses.

Unfortunately or fortunately it's closed off to people to protect the habitat, or at least much of it is. Regardless, it's a nice little escapist gem in this city.

Now...back to work and driving. Ugh.

This Wednesday

So, what you got planned for Wednesday night? Watching reruns of American Idol? (I know you TiVoed it, don't deny it.) A rock-paper-scissors contest against your cat? (fyi - I actually have decent rock-paper-scissors stories, how sad.) Well, let me suggest to you....

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Come celebrate the end of CTT's best season ever and help send us to NY for the New York Music Theatre Festival. We are the ONLY tap dance company invted to participate in the festival and the ONLY dance company from Chicago...help us represent!!

Wednesday, July 30th
The Spot at 4437 N. Broadway
$15
8:30-10:00 open bar
9:00 Karaoke starts
Fabulous Raffle Prizes!

Guests are welcome/encouraged to stay after the open bar. $1 on every drink will go back to the company if they do! We also get $1 back on ever shot purchased during the event.

If you can't make it to the event but would still like to help us get to NY, you can make a tax deductible donation here by entering in an amount under "Support CTT" and clicking "Make a Donation":

http://chicagotaptheatre.com/news

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Did you see the part where it said, "open bar"? I'll see ya there.

Ah, the Repetition of It All

I've been to this event, I think, 9 out of the last 10 years. Regardless of the exact number, it's a lot.

On one hand there is the sheer repetition of shooting the same things, year after year after year after year. In all likelihood you just end up with small variations on the same images year after year.

On the other hand there is a kind of lazy comfort, you can get your job done easily and quickly, and there is an opportunity from that to try some new things because once you're covered, why not ?

Things to Remember

I got to set-up the strobes more often. It just helps out so much sometimes. (I'm not saying it's a good photo, it is a business portrait after all, just that it would be so much worse without the additional lighting.)

I don't know

Some things in this world defy descripition, especially easy descripition. There are more things I want to say here than I know how to say, or even put into words. Hell, I don't think I can take a picture that can even start to describe my thoughts and feelings, much less encompass them.

At the end of the day, "I don't know" is a great statement, especially when you know it's all good. And you know what? I know it's all good, at least in this part of life, it's all good, so good. And it makes me happy, peaceful.

Because I Can, XXIX

Because I Can, XXVIII

Because I Can, XXVII

Another Day on the Job, III

Because I Can, XXVI

The Nature of Time

Editing photos is an interesting exploration. Sometimes it's very easy, often it is. Softball, get the ball in the damn frame, get some action, whatever, move on. Not very tough. This is true with most of my "work" imagery. It's easy, it's easy because I largely don't care in all likelihood.

Tonight was a bit different though. Tonight I was, did, deal with, only start to edit, the first review really, some images I had been emotionally, mentally, preparing for for months. Tonight I dealt with images I feared.

Over the past six months I've been working on a project, a wonderful project, a project I love, but a project which has created some great images through some moments I would never give up having witnessed and hope to never experience again.

A few months back a pretty major event occurred, and I was privileged enough to be able to document it. During the process I reviewed a few of the images on the back of the camera, some portraits, and they stopped me in my tracks, in my head at least. I kept shooting, kept working, kept doing what I needed to do. But in my memory were those portraits. I couldn't not have them in my head, rolling around. I wanted them gone.

What she choose to share, the images haunted me, her generosity, kindness and openness amazed, still amaze, me. I couldn't deal with the images, and I knew it. This has never happened to me before. Through the months of hard images, this had never happened. So tonight, over three months later, I knew I needed to deal with them. I knew the images were images that needed to be dealt with, edited, but I've just been afraid to look at them. I've been afraid of what they mean, what they mean to me, and afraid to "re-live", afraid of being reminded of that time, and most of all, those images, I knew they would just hit me, hit me hard.

I opened them, and scanned them for maybe 10 seconds, then I had to walk away. Luckily, happily, while that was happening, a friend called (thanks Ya Looblue, you have SuperStar timing) and I was able to talk through some of it, and be distracted, get happy again, before getting back to editing.

Editing through them wasn't a long process in the end, but I still want to block those images from my memory. Hopefully they'll help and effect some other people some day, today, no matter how happy I am that those image exist, how honored I am to have been allowed to make them, today I want to forget those images exist.

Where's Josh?

Yeah, I've disappeared, I may stay disappeared for a while. Life is just busy. Good busy. Lots of biking, I'm hoping to add lots of kayaking, lots of living, which means less time to talk about living. I'm good with this, quite frankly.

You want to know much more? Drop me a line, drop me an email, or better yet, let's go hang out, get out, and enjoy life. I'm around, I'll just be around this particular locale less for a while. Later.

(having said that, watch, I'll update every day for next month. Isn't that just how it works?)

Because I Can, XXV

More from the Chicago Tap Theatre show. (Go see it.)

Celebratory Moment

I want to take a moment to celebrate my many amazing friends.


There is the Strange Tree Group, which comprises many wonderful friends. They have put together a show that is getting rave reviews left and right. Go see it, it's worth it. (I would also like to note a member of that social crowd, or two actually, who have agreed to legally become one. Rock on! She wouldn't answer me when I asked if she was pregnant. Hmmm...) (And for those who expressed an interested in going with me, I believe I'm going to go on the 10th, next Thursday.)

There is Chicago Tap Theatre who also has an awesome show up at the moment, also receiving high marks and reviews, as always for them. You should see their show also. Not to mention they are just incredibly kind and wonderful people. Really, just unnaturally nice. It disturbs me. (For those who asked, I'm going to try to be going this Saturday, but I'm not sure yet, of course.)

A friend who is about to leave for Texas to slack, I mean write poetry for three years. If I knew I could do that and call it grad school earlier I would've applied.

Another friend fighting back from surgery that stopped her work. She thinks she's more alone than she is, which sucks, but she fights hard all the same. She will win, at least I know she will. I also know someday she'll look at me and say, "Josh, you were right." But I know that is true with most of you.

A friend who is taking a chance and starting a band. Lawyer by day, tap dancer by night. My kind of person, good human being, and pushing the bounds of what can in any reality be considered reasonable. Good stuff.

Another who is going to get the results of an important test tomorrow afternoon. Cross your fingers.

A friend I mentioned a while back, Peter "George" Ksander, who recently won an Obie for scenic design. Apparently in the theater world this is really big, as I'm not in that world, umm...okay, rock on George.

A friend who is building/re-building her life after a really hard year. One of those times when it's not about winning awards, but just about being happy. It's truly amazing, and wonderful to watch. Love is beautiful, I've known that for a long time, but she has shown me that on a level that is difficult to appreciate, express, and fills me day after day.

A friend who is (I guess it should be a "they" but really, are his hormones going nuts? Nope, it's all about her) pregnant with her third. Cool stuff, though I'd never, ever, ever want to be pregnant, but I'm happy for her.

The list just keeps going and going and going. I can't even remember off the top of my head all the awesome things all my friends are pulling off these days. In the world of problems, what a great problem to have.

I really do have the best friends in this world. And I keep finding more. I guess I'm just greedy.

Philosophical Honesty

The photo is from the Belmont Arts and Music Festival (BAM), and is totally unrelated to the pointless point that follows. Thanks. Hell, it's not even related to BAM really either, it was just there.

I've been debating the difference, on a philosophical level of 4 colors, white, black, chrome (oh, shiny) and clear. See, none of them are colors, in fact, most every color you think of as a color isn't a color. Sorry, accept this, accept that your brain is making all these things up, you only see red, green and blue (RGB), as colors, you also see brightness with rods. Hope I didn't burst your bubble, but teal, it doesn't exist, neither does purple, orange, yellow, or any color beyond RGB.

So, if your favorite color is white, you aren't actually choosing a favorite color as it's an equal mix of RGB. You are being indecisive. (though further thought must be put into what a "color" is and the contrubution of rods to this whole thought and not just cones.)

Black is just a lack of light, so hence, it's not a color, it's actually a lack of color. You like black? You like nothing. Kind of explains some of my friends teen years actually.

Chrome, while shiny, and hence wonderful, is a reflection, it shows you nothing except what's reflecting off of it. That's actually where this all starts, The Bean (or Cloud Gate). It's impossible to take a photo of the Bean, all you can do is take a photo of the reflection which infers the existence of the Bean, but the Bean itself does not absorb and re-emit light, it just directly reflects light. When you look at the Bean you are not seeing the Bean, you never see the Bean, you are seeing the reflections the Bean creates. (I kind of wonder if the reflection an object makes is enough to prove the existence of an object, I think so, but...)

Clear, clear is the most honest of these four "colors". It doesn't pretend to be a color like white or black, or a color in a Crayon box like chrome. It acknowledges it's lack of color and embraces it.